


Heart Shaped Cookies

by ChakolitChip



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ciri is Geralt's daughter, Gen, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pre-Relationship, Rated for ballsacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 02:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22168666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChakolitChip/pseuds/ChakolitChip
Summary: People welcome new neighbors with food right?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 23
Kudos: 574





	Heart Shaped Cookies

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [It's Always Sunny In Corvo Bianco](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22167382) by [BlueEyedArcher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedArcher/pseuds/BlueEyedArcher). 



> This is not beta read. I wrote this in like an hour after reading It's Always Sunny In Corvo Bianco literally right after it was posted. Also inspired by a funny picture I saw on twitter of some cookies someone made.  
> ####

It has been 2 days since his new neighbors moved in across the hall. It has also been 2 nights of waking up in need of a cold shower.

It's all Geralt's fault.

He hasn't seen Geralt or his daughter Ciri again since that first day they moved in but the image of his toned body and muscular arms refuses to leave his brain.

Sighing he puts down his guitar on the stand beside the chair he is perched on and stands up. 

It's probably like when you get a song stuck in your head. Gotta listen to it a few times before you can get it to leave. 

So now he just has to find a way to see Geralt without it being weird and creepy. 

People usually welcome new neighbors with like pie and shit right? Maybe he could bake something? 

Not pie cause that's like super hard but maybe cookies? Everyone likes cookies right.

Having made up his mind he heads into his kitchen to find his grandmother's recipe which are the best choice cause those cookies are impossible to mess up and always delicious. 

The batter is made and now he has to decide on a shape. He doubts that Geralt cares about the shape but he isn't gonna half ass these cookies! They are for Ciri as well so what do teenage girls like? 

Unicorns?

When he was a teenager all the girls tended to ignore his existence so his experience isn't going to help him here… 

He looks at the cookie cutters he picked up on a whim a few months back and the only one of interest is a heart shape. Girls like hearts right? 

He shrugs and gets to work adding some food colouring to the batter to make it pink and using the cookie cutter as a mold to make the shape of each cookie. It only takes a few minutes before he is popping them in the oven and setting the timer. 

15 minutes later he is taking the cookies out of the oven when he has a sudden realization. The cookies have spread slightly and with the light pink colouring they look remarkably like hairless ballsacks. 

Just a tray of fleshy ballsacks.

Fuck.

He can't give these to the hot man next door and his teenage daughter! They are gonna think he is the pervert of the century!

Ok maybe he can solve this. Add some icing or something. 

It only takes a moment to make up some icing and spread it over the cookies which definitely helps a ton. Now they just look a bit messy rather than like ballsacks. 

Ok now he just has to put them in some tupperware and deliver them. 

It's a Saturday so he expects they will be home, probably still unpacking so a treat like a few cookies should help them get through it all. Moving is never fun.

His feet carry him across the hall with the cookies and he stands there for about 5 minutes, unsure what he is going to say. 

Then the door opens before he even has a chance to knock. 

Geralt is filling up the doorway and Jaskier suddenly feels very small and very horny. 

"Hi." He squeaks.

"Hey." Says Geralt. Jaskier clears his throat.

"I uh- made some cookies, here." He jams the tupperware container into the broad chest in front of him. 

Geralt raises an eyebrow and looks down at them.

"Thanks." He says and raises a hand to hold the container. He then raises his other hand which is holding a large bag of trash. "Could you tell me where the garbage goes?" He asks.

Jaskier quickly explains in detail how to get to the dumpster around the side of the building and even mentions that the side door handle sometimes needs to be jiggled a little when opening it from the outside. As soon as Geralt looks like he understands Jaskier quickly says

"Welcome once again! I'll see you around!" And darts back across the hall only fumbling slightly to get his door open. 

A great success! He got to chat, deliver his cookies and be helpful all in one go!

Satisfied he heads back over to pick up his guitar, snagging an extra cookie from the kitchen a new song forming in his head

\-----

Geralt gets back from his dumpster run to find Ciri on the couch looking at her phone. She glances up as he walks in and immediately notices the tupperware I'm his hands.

"Hey what's that?" She asks.

"Cookies." He replies. She gives him a look.

"Where did you get cookies. You said you were taking out the garbage." 

"The guy across the hall. Said he made them." He opens up the container and smells them. The heart shapes are cute and he picks one up to take a bite.

Not bad. A little on the sweet side perhaps but they have good flavor. Ciri holds out her hand and makes a grabby motion so he holds out the container for her to take one. 

Looking back into the container he has to stifle a grin as he sees one of the cookies has flipped upside down. It looks vaguely like a ballsack.

Luckily Ciri doesn't notice as she has started to say that they need to ask the neighbour for the recipe.

He just takes another cookie and enjoys it.


End file.
